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You put your left hip in, you put your left hip out…

October 4, 2012 1 Comment
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…and you shake it all about! You do the “Hokey-Pokey” and you turn yourself about…

That’s what hip arthroscopy is about!

Not very catchy, I know, but I’m feeling quite “hokey” while I’m slow-poking around after my hip arthroscopy with labral repair yesterday. (My WHAT? I’m still not sure, though I finally figured out how to spell it.) The surgeon removed a cyst, shaved a bone, and put several anchors in what was apparently quite a severe tear – don’t know what an anchor is, but he must of known I was a DeeGee in college. Other than unconsciously biting my lower lip during extubation, there were no complications. The doctor showed us pics of what he’d done, but Dustin said he couldn’t really figure it out since it wasn’t a vagina. We’ll trust that he knew what he was doing, and that I’ll soon be a pain-free mama! (At least, the physical pain part, which has been a big part of my life the last couple of years…) How did I get this usually “athletic” injury? Not sure, though I think it had something to do with holding E on my left hip too much when she was getting too big, while simultaneously bending over the wrong way to pick up something she’d thrown on the floor in a state of rage (like her paci or blanket) on the way to getting her into bed. Either that or it’s something I did while playing on my “Rugby for Hot Mamas” team.

I was SO glad that Dustin was able to take a rare “sick” day to be with me. (This was not the original plan as we just didn’t think it would be possible for him to take off. This is one of those times that it is hard to be married to someone without a normal job – he can’t arrange to be there for a child’s pre-school Christmas program, he can’t go in late to take a sick kid to the doctor, he can’t cut out early on a Friday afternoon for a weekend road trip. His time is not his own. At one point last week as we discussed the dilemma, he was telling me over the phone about some important patients that he was expected to present at Wednesday conference, and I was wondering to myself where I fell on his “importance” spectrum…thankfully, his director (a wife and mother herself) agreed that I should be more important on this one day. Though others in the department were not in agreement (mind you, they do not have significant others), she had Dustin’s back (and my hip!)  Dustin told me about how surprised and sad he is when some of his very sick cancer patients come in for major surgeries (not day-surgeries like mine) without any family member. Too many hard-working lower class people in our society do not have the family leave flexibility, the  job security, or support  from superiors that they need to “do the right thing” in these situations. We are very fortunate.
We were at the hospital for 12 hours, and actually enjoyed parts of our hospital “date” at this 5-star surgical center. (Hard-wood floors, fresh-baked cookies for an afternoon snack, salmon or beef tenderloin for dinner.) Fancy! (Now we need to have a garage sale or two to pay for my newly improved hip!) Dustin is always good at making me laugh to relieve my anxiety and was cracking jokes in the waiting room about how I was lowering the median age of patients by 30 years and how he would not hesitate to pull the plug over the phone while he snuck out to eat pastries at Panera.  Thankfully, we did not have to go down that road!
 I spent several hours in the very nice room sleeping, coming out of my anesthetic fog, throwing up/ eating jell-o, and recruiting my male nurse (a new daddy) to follow mommymanders.com as he helped me stumble to the toilet in my lovely backless gown. He also taught me how to use my new silver crutches which the kids plan to decorate later today (they need a little more bling to match my festive personality). The strangest part of the experience was leaving the hospital without a newborn baby, since that is my normal hospital experience. (But Dustin and I agreed that we would both sleep better without that little “extra” souvenir. But I didn’t come home empty-handed – I got one of those giant plastic cups! Much more practical.)

Today, I’m enjoying a quiet day of pampering as a gift to myself and my body as I heal. No kids in the house, no classes to prepare for or deadlines to meet. So peaceful resting here on the couch watching the world go by outside my living room window, hearing the swooshing sounds of the dishwasher and washing machine that other Mommy-friends turned on for me…I’m feeling so thankful for good friends who offer kind gestures of love and support. Beverly came by after taking her own kids to school, let herself in, and came back to my bedroom where she helped me out of bed, to the toilet, and into pants. She fed my fish, started some laundry for me, and brought me coffee, a blueberry muffin, and great conversation! My dad stopped by to bring me the cards that my kids (and some of my students from school) made for me. He is on “GareBear” duty all day, and I’m so thankful for that gift. My friend Kara brought me a couple of items from the store, heated up some lunch for me, and started cleaning up my kitchen before I could even ask her to! Can I have surgery again next week? I am going to take these gifts of love and friendship, give thanks for them, enjoy them, and NOT feel guilty. I am going to give myself this much-needed break, and NOT feel guilty. My aunt (who happened to have a similar surgery last week) reminded me that recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. I’m not really running at all right now as I’m in no hurry to get up and do the dishes myself! I get to do that every day - today I’m on “stay-cation”.

Reflection:

  • Have you ever had anyone take care of you? Or are you always the care-giver? Is it hard for you to accept the help and care of others? (I found myself apologizing last night to Dustin for asking him to bring me water, my cell phone, my medicine – I’m so used to doing everything for myself.)
  • Accepting help, accepting compliments, accepting any blessing with grace and gratitude is something to practice, to strive for, to model for our children. Not only does it honor our own worthiness, but also the generosity and kindness of the giver. How well do you practice this skill?
  • Have you ever let yourself off the hook for a “sick” day or a “sick” week? Taken a break from normal, stressful life routines to help heal your body or spirit? Are you able to do this guilt-free knowing how important YOU are in your child’s universe? Are you able to get support for this from loved ones and friends? I hope it doesn’t take a surgery to get you to relax and take care of yourself, to ask for the help you need and deserve. Something to consider on your parenting journey…
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Comments

  1. Sommer says:
    October 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Thanks Mommy Manders – I’ve truly enjoyed reading your blogs. I hope you can continue to rest, enjoy your mini stay-cation and heel yourself well. You had me at ‘since it wasn’t a vagina!’ Ha, I laughed so hard reading that part. You seem to have a wonderful support system and I’m glad you are not feeling guilty about their helping you – it’s your turn to be pampered so just enjoy it.

    My sister used to take a day off of work & not tell ANYONE. Now that I’m a mom, I now know why she did it. :)

    Take care,
    Sommer

    Reply

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